A Star Is Bombed - This week's HX has a hilarious down and dirty interview with everyone's favorite Payless Shoe
hooker hocker. Well, sort of. It's truly a mock-interview, held at Splash bar no less.
Q: So you don’t think it’s wrong to kill animals purely for fashion?
A: It’s wrong not to kill animals. That’s part of God’s plan. He wants me to look gorgeous. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have saved me from the tsunami. Animals are here for us to use as we need. Run your skin across a luxurious fur and you’ll understand. Not only does fur look fabulous, it feels fabulous. I love it so much, I’m designing an entire line of fur products.
Q: Can you give us some details?
A: I don’t see why anything that I have to touch couldn’t be lined with fur. Like pillows and sheets. Cell phones. Steak knives. My chair on The View. The microphone I use on the red carpet. I’m sure everyone would want me to feel comfortable and look good. Oh, and Kentucky Fried Chicken is working on a fur-lined bucket.
Q: A fur-lined bucket of chicken? That sounds messy.
A: Don’t be an idiot. The fur goes on the outside, of course. I’m going to call the entire line “Look Like a Star.” Martha Stewart had the great idea to make her products available to the masses. So my line will be sold at Wal-Mart. They sell guns, so their shoppers understand that animals should be shot. By the way, I need another cocktail.
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